Dawn

I feel under pressure to write something witty or profound here in my first BLOG of the year. But the truth is that the year has started quietly, in the same manner that the last one ended and for that I am grateful.

I had a quiet Christmas. I watched some Rugby, I went for walks, I ate well with friends and family, I drank well.

I went to church at Midnight on Christmas Eve. Not my church in Croydon but St. John's Parish Church in Worcester. It was odd. It was wet outside, and quiet inside. Rose and Brendan were there which was lovely. I hope they enjoyed it. James and I have decided to go to Christmas Morning services from now on.

I went on a date with my husband cos everyone was poorly. It was fun - going out for dinner and then a pint in the town where I grew up and had all my teenage angst. It made me feel all fuzzy to sit with my soulmate snuggled up in the corner of my favourite pub with a pint of real beer.

I was overwhelmed with generous gifts. Thank you one and all.

I approached New Year differently this year.

I don't like New Year's Eve. I get edgy all day and quite down in the dumps. I find it hard to stand on the cusp of two years. It's odd, like i feel it should be a good time to reflect and look back and look forward but everyone around me is just getting drunk.

So anyway this year I did it differently. My church has a prayer and praise party from 11pm until just after 12 midnight. It was good. Before hand we played games at The Smiths (Rach was a legend with the food) and them meandered over to church. It was calm and peaceful. I sang, I thought, I prayed, I reflected. I was with my husband, and my friends, and God. Most importantly God.

I am standing at the start of a year of huge huge change. For us both. Me and James. It feels God driven but its very very unknown. I need to hold onto God. I need him to go before me and stand behind me. I need to acknowledge His influence in my life, his protection over me, His plan and His grace. There are tough times ahead but I am excited.

2008 started quietly, standing with my husband's arms around me, in the presence of our God, knowing that whatever this year brings we will face it together. All three of us.

Hannah x