Keep on keeping on

It's been a quiet couple of weeks.
James went to Barcelona with the boys and had a good time.
I slammed my finger in my front door and was nearly sick with pain, it's not very pretty but I can feel it again now.
Had a lovely weekend this weekend. I have got more organised on the wedding front with a Budget Spreadsheet and a Guest List database. James thinks I have lost it, but I like to know where I am.
Saturday saw James and his Dad at 'Pantiles Groom' - a whole shop for Grooms in Tunbridge Wells deciding whether to buy or hire a suit. A decision has been made and a price obtained. Sorted! Wow. Suppose I better get a dress soonish then!
The whole wedding thing is still very surreal and feels like it is happening to someone else. But it's good I think.
James made me run on Saturday - and I only walked once for about 30 meters to take on water. We measured our route in the car on Sunday and found out it was 2 miles - chuffed.
To celebrate after going to the gym yesterday I bought myself some sexy ass running trousers!
And finally Jeremy preached on Me? A Missionary? Last Sunday. He used the passage about Jesus walking on water and the book 'If you want to walk on water you've got to step out of the boat.' He finished asking What is your boat? And Are you being called to step out of it? God gave me an answer. Loudly and clearly He said 'No'. It is time to rest, time to curl up on the cushions at the back of the boat, feel the sunshine on my face and the hear the gently lapping water. It is time to take, renew and refresh.
Now how do I learn to do that? H x

24-7 Pictures

I just wanted to share some pictures of the prayer room with you, especially for those of you who may have been reading my blog thinking 'what on earth is she going on about?' As always feel free to leave me comments and questions and you can email me too. H x


 

Amen

Dear Lord
Thank you so much for moving into our prayer room last week. It was awesome in ways I could never have imagined.
Thank you for working in so many people's lives last week, allowing them to pray, to come to you, to be loved by you and cared for. Thank you that people opened the hearts and minds to a new thing and met you in the middle of it.
Thank you that as a church we embraced prayer in a new way.
Thank you that people felt comfortable enough to use the room however they wished, thank you for those who painted, and scribbled, and sang and danced and were still. Thank you that the walls grew and groaned and spoke more and more as the week went on.
Thank you for the children, thank you for their innocence and their simple embracing of the space. Thank you especially for the two local kids who came in off the street and learnt that praying doesn't just mean 'hands together, eyes closed.'
Thank you that you were with me, that you gave me the energy to get up at 5.45am every morning. Thank you that you made it OK that we couldn't cover the night slots.
Thank you that I trusted you, thank you that you spoke to me in ways that I could hear. Thank you that people thanked me.
Lord God if we do this again, call more workers and teach me to delegate.
Lord please don't let this work be lost.
Thank you for being love, awesome big incomprehensible love.
Amen x

Prayer update

Well the slots are filling up. People appear to be praying, the walls are filling up and starting to reveal people's heart cries. There was a gap yesterday evening so James and I had a conversation and decided that he would cover it. I went in to the room with him, and had a quick look at the way the room is growing.
I heard God say: 'I told that I would be here, and that I would hear them. I told you I had it. NOW do you trust me.'
As I drove away to the wilds of Tesco - which by the way looked like a communist food store with huge swathes of bare shelves - I had a renewed sense of calm.
James had a great hour, despite his cynicism. He said the hour wasn't enough and is going back at 6am tomorrow for more, which also means I get a lie in!!
I am not down to pray until Friday night - which in a way I am quite sad about. But I am looking forward to it and time alone with my creator.
I am still worried about the weekend though with massive gaps in the schedule. Will pray about this.
Hannah x

24-7 Prayer Room

It's up and running. It looks good, it feels safe and I hope people meet God in there.
Most of the hour long slots are filled and I spent an hour in there this morning between 6am and 7am.
It was a good way to start the week, although it was a sacrifice leaving my bed.
I still feel responsible for it - although I know that I shouldn't.
I am calmer about the job thing. I don't feel any sense of closure, or security. I don't know how long I can continue to do my current job but for the time being I should just get on with it.

angry and upset

Today I am angry and upset.
I didn't get the job I went for yesterday. The interviewer called. Apparently they interviewed people in the order they thought they met criteria etc. I was interviewed first. I was apparently the best candidate on paper. I had the job in the bag until 3pm yesterday when they interviewed a woman who already works in a Supporting People team for a local authority and does some user involvement there. She wowed them at interview and got the job. I am gutted, truely this is worse than missing out by miles. It makes NO SENSE.
Peopel keep telling me oh there will be more jobs and God has a plan - but I am finding it increasingly difficult to see how that can be so when I am SO miserable in my job.
Then a client called and made it worse.
Really really low, all I want to do is take to my bed and stay there.
Hannah

21 years on!!

This rather dodgy looking bunch is the recreation of my Godmother and her husband's wedding party! They got married 21 years ago: CONGRATS! So to celebrate they had a party. Left to right the roles were Bridesmaid, Groom, Bride, Giver Awayer, Bridesmaid and Best Man! It was a surreal experience but great fun! H x

Confused

Yesterday I started a new job. But I am also doing the old one. Confused? I'll say so.
The long drawn out plot of my job situation thickens.
A decision was made a few weeks back that I would be seconded to another organisation within the building. They have a similarly funded project, that was running on a slightly adjusted time scale. Their worker was leaving for personal reasons and it seemed like an excellent opportunity. I had a handover day and left the office for Milla's wedding with the situation straight in my head. Then whilst on leave some money for my project to continue came through. Not quite 12 months worth but a good chunk.
So when I came back from leave I thought the situation would become clear. Errr no.
The CEO of the other organisation is on leave. Their worker has left. There is work at my current organisation for me to be getting going. So where does that leave me?
All over the place that's where - some time upstairs sometimes here. It is really unsettling and I find that I cannot throw myself whole heartedly into either not knowing what future plans will be.
So I am still miserable and hot and tired.
Oh and I have an interview on Thursday morning! We'll see........