New Class

I met my new class on Tuesday morning. This is the class that I will teach for 12 weeks in two blocks and they will take me all the way through to qualifying as a teacher!

I hadn't been nervous until my train was pulling into the station - the same station I go to several times a week. A sudden realisation hit me that this class were the ones with whom I will discover my teaching style. my strengths, my weaknesses. They are the class with whom I will have good lessons, and truely awful ones.

There are two other trainees in my school so I am not completely alone. My mentor is also the 'lead' mentor for the school so all three of us went to meet her first. As the other two were taken off to their rooms and I stood alone in an empty classroom I felt very alone. I had a sudden cold dread of panic. 'Do I really want to do this?' I thought.

After leaving my last placement school on a high I am back at the bottom of the pile.

The morning was good. I am going to be OK. I know that I am not alone. I have the support of my mentor, SCITT and my fellow trainees. I also have the support of my husband, my family and my friends.

I also know that hundreds of trainee teachers have gone before me. Standing at the front of a class for the first time, armed with a lesson plan and a nervous smile. I know that I will make mistakes, but I'm ready to learn from them.

Utalitarian Faith

More and more I am learning that my faith is a very practical one. I do not have the gift or prophesy, or speaking in tongues. I am too forgetful to pray with any consistency. I am not a theologist, nor blessed in apologetics. I am not a preacher, or an evangelist. I am not a youth leader or a children's worker.
More and more I realise that God is asking me to show my faith by just getting on with life. Just doing what I'm doing.
If you want to give this a label then my gift is partly 'hospitality'. This isn't just baking, or cooking. It isn't having people over for dinner. It's listening to someone when they really need it, it's offering my computer to the person who needs to send a job application form, its allowing my brother in law to come over, make his own coffee and eat my leftover desserts. It's doing coffee after Church when fewer people than ought to say thank you, or allowing one person to eat at least 1/6th of the cakes I spent time and effort baking without getting angry. It is even more than this too.
The other part of my faith is just getting on with it. It's being a wife to James, loving him, making his lunch, ironing his shirts, saying a kind to word to him when he's upset. It's about listening to my husband when he offers me advice, comforts me and even when he tells me no!
It's also about me being right where God wants me to be right now. Training to be a teacher. Going to lectures, writing my assignments and doing my best. It's about trusting that God will find me a job. The right job.
I've been at Carotty Wood this weekend with Connexions, the 14-18 yr olds Youth Group at Church. I was cooking for 50+ people with my dream team of Rach and Janette (thanks girls we rocked!) When I wasn't in the kitchen, sleeping, or writing my essay I spent time in the group meetings. The theme was Gladiators! On Saturday night Steve spoke about Philip. He finished his talk with clips from Cool Runnings (best film!). His message from the film was this:
‘A gold medal is a wonderful thing, but if you are not good enough without it, you are not going to be good enough with it.’
You can substitute Gold Medal for any other thing you covet, or desire.
Steve was saying (and please correct me someone if I've got this wrong) that with God we are good enough. We don't need anything else. What we do need to do, like Philip, is listen to God and do what He asks us to do. We shouldn't put him off. We shouldn't say to God I'll do that: 'When I have a job...'. 'When I'm older...' 'When I have a house...'
I sat thinking after Steve's talk and it dawned on me: James and I answered God's call over a year and half ago. We followed a path He laid out for us. James is now in the Police and I am training to teach. We don't have great wealth, or possessions but we're comfortable and in our own home. Greater than that we have the Love of God. We have the assurance of His presence and the comfort of His grace. He has the power to take it all away, and I pray that He doesn't. Right now, at the start of 2009 James and I are walking God's path. The going isn't always going to be easy but if we keep checking we're going the right way then the destination will be immense.
Hannah x
p.s. For more on the lessons in Cool Runnings look here: http://coolrunningslive.com/index.php/lessons-from-cool-runnings