"It’s not if I believe in love, But if love believes in me" U2

James went to the pub with his brother and some friends last night. I collapsed into bed at 17.30 and slept for an hour and a half. This week had finally caught up with me! I eventually dragged my sorry self back out of bed to cook and eat supper and settled down to watch 'Brokeback Mountain' or 'That Gay Cowboy Film' as James disdainfully refers to it. I have to say it didn't live up to its hype for me and although I understood its themes and reasons I just got really annoyed with Heath Ledger mumbling away all the time.

James came home a little worse for wear and told me that he'd had a conversation about religion with two of our friends. I enquired further as to what the conversation had entailed and found out that one person had no belief in God whatsoever. Their argument was that they knew the difference between right and wrong without needing a religious code to tell them that. They further argued that in places in the world where people developed without any knowledge of God or Christianity they still developed a moral social order and knew the difference between right and wrong within the boundaries of their society. James admitted he has been somewhat stumped at these ascertains.

After thinking for a minute I turned to him and said that I too had known the difference between right and wrong before I had believed in God. I had morals and stuck to them. My faith does not provide me with a set of morals, it provides me with a hope, a future and a reason for living. I went on to say that I believe that God created the world, and so I believe that He created those people whom Christianity has only recently reached. Therefore they know right and wrong because God has put that within them. I believe He created us all in His image.

'It's a shame you weren't there,' James said.

It goes back to the fact that even if I don't believe in God He believes in me. He created me, He wants the best for me and He loves me. I cannot change that and it is not dependent on whether I know Him or chose to acknowledge Him. This is a really difficult concept. I do not have to do anything to win or gain God's love or relationship. I am offered a free gift that I do not deserve and all I have to do is reach out my hands and take hold of it. Our friend's lack of belief in God does not prove that there is no God. The have chosen to believe in nothing but nothing cannot believe in them. If they ever change their mind then God will be there, the same as He always has been, ready to make His love into a two-way relationship.

Evangelical Atheists

This post comes with a warning. This is not an intelligent, intellectual or informed discussion about the above topic. It is a gut reaction to this article on the BBC Website: Atheists call for 'debaptism'
The man in the article wants to be De-Baptised. He doesn't believe in God and is upset that this ever happened to him. It has taken him 50 years to get around to this so I get the feeling that it can't have been too pressing! Southwark Diocese has refused to remove the record of his baptism.
And quite right too.
Nick Baines, the Bishop quoted in the piece, is the Bishop of Croydon. He is a sensible, sensitive, thoughtful and realistic man. He says:
"You can't remove from the record something that actually happened,"
Too right!
Baptism is not a membership card. It doesn't give you free entry to heaven. It is not the end of a road, it is a door being opened, with a path that you may or may not follow beyond that doorway. The man, Mr Hunt, chose not to follow this path, but there is something about his actions and his vehement opposition that makes me wonder if he is still worried by it. Is he wondering what might happen if he took some steps down it? Would he be forced to face situations, truths, and questions that would trouble him and his almost religious certainty that there is no God?
The article says he went to confirmation classes, and is quite contradictory saying he went to confirmation classes but also decided early on he
'had no place in a hypocritical organisation.'
Seems a bit odd to me. Why didn't he stay home for Sunday lunch instead.
When I was confirmed in 2002 I had many questions. I too was baptised as a baby in a Catholic Church. My parents gave me chances and opportunities to find out more, but equally let me choose not to believe or worship. God too gave me this choice. Throughout the time that I chose not to believe, not to walk with Him, He did not forget me. There was no big catch up on His part when I started talking to Him again in my early twenties. He waited, patiently, and let me ask all my questions. Most importantly as I made the choice to be confirmed (in the Anglican church) God did not present me with a membership card, manual of all the answers and a map of my path. He took my hand, helped me to step over the threshold and start walking His path making no promises that the path was easy. I struggled with the fact that I did not remember my baptism, that it was in another denomination, that I had spent so long not believing. The words that comforted me most came from the creed which we say at communion:
'We believe in one holy catholic and apostolic Church.
We acknowledge one baptism for the forgiveness of sins.'
I came to realise that it didn't matter that I didn't remember it, or that the decisions then weren't my own. They were a start, and confirmation was the next step.
I was at the Baptism of a child last Sunday morning, a couple from my home group's daughter. It was so exciting to see her now and dream of all that she may become. It was more exciting to see her in the context of her family, and her wider church family. To feel the love that she sits within. It was great to be part of the congregation welcoming her and encouraging her. I love the liturgy for the whole congregation to say :
"Do not be ashamed to confess the faith of Christ crucified.
Fight valiantly as a disciple of Christ
against sin, the world and the devil,
and remain faithful to Christ to the end of your life."
I feel like it could be a big cheer at a Rugby match - "Go on girl, you can do it!"
And most importantly whichever path she chooses, however she decides to live her life, whatever she decides to do she will be loved, supported and accepted. By her family and by God. At no stage will she be able to delete or rub that out.

Back to the article! It says:
'The Church wonders aloud why, if atheists and secularists believe baptism is so meaningless, they are letting it upset them.'
and goes on:
'Mr Hunt supplies his own answer.
"Evangelical noises are getting louder and louder."'

I have to agree with the Church on this one. To me it seems that strong Atheist Organisations are the ones making loud Evangelical noises. They seem to be getting very worried about the people of a God they don't believe in and shouting louder and louder in an attempt to convert people to believing in nothing. Which still requires faith. I don't understand, and like I said at the beginning this is not an informed or intelligent discussion. All I do know is that I worship a living God, one with a thick skin and a sense of humour. I know that he exists because I talk to Him and He responds and my life has been better, lighter and more exciting to live since I took His hand and stepped over the threshold and started walking His path. Maybe Mr Hunt should go back, take a look at that path again and instead of trying to delete a historical record, make an informed and adult decision about where he is going to put his faith and hope, and then just get on with doing that, letting his actions and the way he lives his life be his witness.
Hannah x

Spring

As I walked out of college with my friend at lunchtime on Friday I was stopped dead in my tracks. The street was quiet, there was no commotion and I was feeling fine. "The sun!" I exclaimed, "I can feel the sun on my face!" It was the most wonderful feeling, and the warmth radiated not just onto my face but into my soul. I love the feeling of well being that the sunshine brings and the knowledge that spring is trying to push its way into being. Winter seems long and dark, and although I have achieved an enormous amount this winter the promised arrival of spring is very welcome. The last few weeks of the winter have been a strange time. On Sunday February 1st it started snowing, and didn't stop until half way through Monday 2nd. James and I woke up to a world hidden under a duvet of snow, no car noise, no trains, no buses. The bright cold whiteness filled our house. We started off on a journey to the supermarket and ended up sledging and snowballing with our friends and building an 8ft snowman outside our church, who was named 'Trevor Mapsnow'. As we returned home that afternoon to defrost and try and get on with life it felt odd, and that oddness didn't go for over a week. I felt disrupted and displaced, and despite the fun and laughter that the snow brought, I felt very uncomfortable, out of sync. College ended up very topsy turvy and culminated in a morning that left me on the verge of tears. Later that week I received some sad news. It was not entirely unexpected news but my reaction to it, and the feelings it brought with it were. The situation left me confused, and I found myself feeling very uncomfortable with a sense of loss I had not anticipated. The situation felt very awkward, and the confusion felt dark and sad. Several things happened over the next few days and most importantly instead of trying to shoulder all my emotions I poured them out to God. I had a conversation with a close friend which was helpful, although did not give me answers. As that week wore on things started to change, and out of a difficult situation God started to do His work. He created opportunities, blessed conversations, and gave answers to those who needed them. After just ten days what had seemed like a hopeless situation was bringing new life, new opportunities and new hope. It feels like everything is going to be OK, and where God was seemingly absent He is evident and at work. I guess its a bit like Spring. In the depths of winter, when we feel like we have been cheated out of our fair share of sunlight, when the trees are dark and naked, when there are no flowers and people huddle up under hats and scarves, there feels like there is very little hope. On the darkest coldest days it is difficult to remember that this will end, that there will be sunshine again. And then when you have had enough, just when you are least expecting it the sun comes out, bulbs start to push their way through the barren soil, daffodils dare to flash their bright yellow petals for all to see. And as the warmth of the sun hits our faces we remember that there is hope, there will be warm sunny days again, and that God is always working, renewing and bringing light to our darkness.