Room for Prayer

My alarm went off at 4.40 am this morning and as James and I grunted at each other and pulled on the nearest clothes I found myself asking why on earth I had signed up for a 5am prayer slot in Emmanuel's 24-7 Prayer Room.
If you go back through my blog archives you will remember that I set up a prayer room in July 2006. At Christmas Dan got excited about Prayer and ran a room for 24 hours praying into the New Year. It was great. It was like a little seed had been planted and when Dan started working for church it started to grow. Well it's growing still and on Sunday evening Emmanuel started a week of prayer 24-7. Right through the night. Person to person. An unbroken chain. God had already spoken and as we kicked off every single slot was filled.
I went to the launch. We prayed and sang and invited God in, not that He needed inviting as He reminded us "This is my territory."The room was buzzing.
However none of this excitement encouraged me as we set off, in the darkness, to pray.
James came too, he hadn't signed up for a slot and was quite grumpy about me removing him for bed before 5am.
After having the room handed over in prayer we sat for a while together in prayer. We prayed about our weaknesses, and our shortcomings, our hopes. We thanked God and we said sorry to God. WE prayed St. Patrick's Breastplate together and then spent some time apart. I am quite often tempted to rush around in a prayer room, reading the walls, trying things out and not actually stopping to talk to God. This time I paused, sat in front of the wailing wall, and waited. I was honest, which is tough before the One who knows you inside out. I told God that I wanted to do more for Him but it's quite scary. I asked for His help.
Then I spent some time praying for Croydon, and Emmanuel and our Parish. FOr a community, for our church to be a heart and a furnace. A place of love and hope.
And then I prayed for my friends, family and colleagues. The ones who don't know Jesus yet. That was really hard. I was confronted by a mixture of emotions, anger, frustration, regret, despair, longing, confusion and sadness. There was also Hope and the message that it is God ultimately who brings people to Himself. He stands at the door and knocks, not me. He is the one who heals, and comforts, who loves and gives with abundant Grace. And me, I am called to pray, to fall on my knees, to intercede and most of all to live and love with my eyes on Jesus.
As james and I grabbed another half an hour in bed, I realised why I had signed up. To talk to God in the early morning light, before the day has got in the way, is a privaledge. James thanked me for encouraging him to get up and come with me, he was glad he came and I'm glad he did too.
As I made my way to work, a strong and peaceful smile spread over me. "I am not of this world" was the message in my head. Now to live a life worthy of that.
H x