NQT

I did it!
I am now officially an Newly Qualified Teacher!
I cannot quite comprehend all that I have learnt, experienced or achieved in the last 10 months, going from User Involvement Worker to Primary School teacher. This week I have been exhausted. I haven't even considered September and all the new challenges that will bring. I am off on hols and then I am going into school when I get back. I need to rest, to restore, to renew.
Everyone tells you a PGCE is hard work, stressful, intense. And yes at times it has been all of those things.
However all along, no matter how tough times were, I have carried the overwhelming sense that I am on the right path.
I have never been sure of why God is leading me this way but have tried to trust Him and follow.
And that's what I continue to do. It is only with Him that I will succeed.
As well as a new career as a teacher I have gained something more; friends! Which at the age of nearly 30 is something really special.
It has been a great 10 months. I find it both amazing and terrifying to be given the privilege of educating children but its a challenge I'm willing to try.
Hannah

T minus 25

On July 3rd after a day of relaxation I will officially graduate from Wandsworth SCITT as a NQT with a PGCE and QTS. In short I will be a primary school teacher!
I am TERRIFIED!
The last few months have been quite surreal - hence the lack of blogging. All my mental energy has gone into assignment writing, lesson planning, evaluating and job interviews.
I have written two 5000 word masters level essays. They were tough - and I seemed to be living under their weight for a long time. Handing the final assignment in I felt like I was emerging from a long hibernation. There was light at the end of the tunnel and I felt lighter and happier. I now know that I have passed both these papers although I don't have results yet.
On May 18th I had an interview for a teaching job at a Junior School nearby to me. I have felt an enormous sense of calm about job hunting. I firmly believe that God led me into this PGCE and future career and that He would find me a school where I can continue to serve and glorify him. Earlier in the year I attended a panel interview for the Southwark Diocesan Board of Education NQT Pool. I went to the interview not expecting anything spectacular - whilst Church Schools are reasonably common I had not previously considered working in one. Anyway the interview went well and a couple of weeks later one of the heads from my panel called me to tell me she had two vacancies at her school and would I apply. The school was larger than I had anticipated joining but I gave it to God. After a great but unsuccessful interview elsewhere I attended the interview on May 18th already knowing in my heart that God wanted me at the school. It was an odd feeling- and it sounds really boastful in print - but I did my best and waited for the call. In short I got the job! It is a great relief to have a post for September and reduces the pressure in the last few weeks of teaching.
As of Monday morning I have two and half weeks of teaching practice left. The other trainees in my school were talking about final grading the other day. All of my observations have been good so far - with some elements of very good. So I started thinking is 'good' good enough? And how can I be 'very good?' I am tired, and whilst these weeks will fly by I know they are going to be pressured and busy and I need to summon energy from somewhere to make it through. I know that I have got the foundations of teaching solid and now I need to take risks, build and expand my style - all at a time when my tank is nearly empty and my soul is aching for the week getaway on the Isle of Wight that James and I have booked in July.
I also find myself in a position where I cannot look back yet and appreciate all that I have achieved since the start of September. I am stuck in fast forward, and yes scared by the future. Learning to teach is a fairly safe environment but in September I will have my own class of 30 children with all their wonderful differences, strengths and weaknesses. I will find myself faced with 30 faces all seeing me as the expert. I have no idea how to start a year, how to introduce myself etc etc. I know that, like this year, iIwill learn. I will learn the ways of the school, I will learn about the children, I will build relationships with them, their parents, other teachers, staff and management. I know that God has led me there and He will not abandon me but I am still scared.
But for now, at t minus 25 days I need to focus on finishing my placement - being the best I can be.
H x

Time to turn the page

On Friday I will leave my job after nearly four years. I have had this date on my diary for months now, and I have known I was leaving since 28th November last year. But as I sit here now it all feels a bit real, a bit odd and I am unsure. On Sunday in church as I was praying I had an image come into my mind. I was standing on a huge book. I looked behind me and I could see the fold down the spine and the facing page in the distance. I was quite close to the edge. It felt like I had to step off so that the page could turn over. I was scared but I knew that God was there with me. And that's how I feel. People ask me if I am excited about SCITT but I am not ready to look at that yet. It's on the next page.
I have recycled masses of paper, sorted out files, written handover documents, deleted emails and computer files, handed over the keys to my filing cabinet and now I'm sitting here reflecting.
What does four years of a job look like?
The information in these files cannot possibly convey the conversations I've had, the relationships I've built, the anger I've felt, the good times I've had. It's even hard to portray the progress I've made. What I do is very qualitative, its been about changing attitudes, making links, talking to people and getting people to think differently.
I have changed enormously in the last four years. I started here at the end of August 2004, aged just 24, only one 'real' job under my belt. I have had to change and develop, learn a new jargon. I have grown to understand how things work, how to behave in meetings, how to address professionals and service users. I've learnt to work with people I don't like and to like people I work with. I have learnt not to take things personally. A few weeks ago I found myself chairing part of a meeting with some fairly high level professionals in it. I had a heated discussion with a service user who upped and left saying "I am not being insulted by some young girl." And as he walked out, I held my cool, took a deep breath and carried on. Some young girl I am not anymore.
I am leaving this job as a young professional woman. I hope that I have earned respect from my colleagues. I hope that I have been able to share some of what I have learnt, and worked on. I hope that I have been a good and amiable colleague. I hope that whoever comes in to do this job after me (Watch out for the advert in Wednesday's Guardian, as well as 4 other jobs) has energy and passion and refuels this project to achieve its potential. My time here is done. I am finished. Time to turn the page.
Hannah

A change of direction

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29: 11



On Wednesday I had my interview for Wandsworth SCITT. This is a small course of 23 places for General Primary and 12 for Early Years.

In September 2008 I will be one of those 23 trainee teachers!

I went to the pub on Sunday evening with Rach and Em and talked to them about my interview. They were really helpful and it was good to feel like I knew what I was talking about. They gave me plenty of pointers and their opinions. They are both angels.


My interview was great! The maths test was a bit dodgy but the English exercise was fine. We had to do a group discussion, which was fine. I am a facilitator by nature but I made sure that I said something and a conversation sparked from there. My one to one interview was with the Course Director and the headteacher of one of the consortium schools in Balham. A range of questions including 'Why do you want to teach?' and 'What are the challenged and opportunities of teaching in Inner London?' (Answer: I don't think challenges are always negative!...) Anyway at the end of the interview the headteacher said 'I don't know if I'm allowed to say this but I thoroughly enjoyed this interview and I would love to have you in my school!' The Course director nodded and smiled. The great thing about this course is that they let you know by the end of the day.

By 3.30 pm I received a call offering me a place. The director said that I was well prepared and confident and all in all I was an exceptional young woman! Nice!

God - Thank You! This feels so right! Hannah x