Learning to let go

I am a yes person. This is on the whole a good thing. It means I try new things, get new experiences, help people out and generally get involved. It does also mean that sometimes I end doing things that I would rather not. Sometimes these things turn out to be good, and I enjoy doing them, I learn from them and I realise that they are part of God's plan for me.

Sometimes these things are not good, I still learn from them, they are still part of God's plan, but it's when He tells me to walk away that I get stuck. I don't like to let people down, and I feel sometimes that if I walk away from something that I have failed.

For a while now I have been realising that the role that I hold within the Scout Group is not for me. There have been a couple of incidents that have made me think that I should not being doing this role, including a time I was reduced to tears. The situation came to a head shortly after James started his new job. It came to a point where a I realised that my role within Scouts was putting pressure on my marriage. Time to step down.

Around the same time Helen gave her last sermon at Emmanuel before moving on to pastures new. In it she spoke about being able to step out of a role and move on when you know its not your gift or your calling. It was one of those loud hailer moments from the pulpit.

Praying about it I felt God telling me to lay down my pride. In my head I didn't want to walk away and let the Scout group down, but God was telling me that it was not my responsibility and that I was not the only person capable of doing the job. I thought back over what I have achieved in the two years since I took the role and I realised that there are good things, and a firm foundation for someone to take forward.

So at my last exec meeting I took a deep breath and told them. I am going to carry on as normal until September and then from then until December I am going to do bare minimum and then step down at the end of the year. If someone comes forward before then I Will step down before then.

It was tough, letting go, giving the situation to God and asking Him to find someone to take on the role. It was tough to tell the exec that I am not going to continue. I felt bad, but I also know that I need to do this for me. I need to let go and concentrate on the gifts God has given me and the calling He has made to me.