I feel stuck again.
My job is so slow. Last week my boss nearly had news of continued funding but there have been even more delays by the PCT. It means that I am still potentially without job in about six weeks. I should be bothered. I should be trying to finish off, or close doors. I should be job hunting, searching for my next career move.
But I can't motivate myself to do it. I can't even be motivated to find stuff to do at work. It's giving me a headache. I also feel guilty because I should be doing something with the next six weeks. Also if my funding does come through and I stay - which is the preferred scenario - then I'm going to have to pull my finger out and start working hard.
I did have a job interview yesterday, and whilst it did produce the obligatory butterflies I wasn't overly enthusiastic or excited. I answered the questions. I gave my presentation. I'm waiting for news. But if I get offered it will I take it? Truth is I don't know.
Being stuck at work makes me feel stuck at home. It makes me want to eat comfort food, slob on the sofa and watch TV.
I can't get excited about anything. I went to look at a photographer's portfolio yesterday, and share the company of three wonderful South African women, and two children. It should have been great fun, but I felt odd and uncomfortable. I'm going back to my parents tonight. Again it should be fun and exciting, especially with the National Wedding Show and dress trying on to look forward to.
But it's not. Cos I'm stuck.
3 comments:
I'll try to make this weekend fun. Your wedding is the one thing you should be able to get excited about! We can help with that!!
Hi Hannah,
Good to see other ex-Cardiff-ites with Blogs. Sorry to hear you are stuck at the moment. Feel free to give me a ring (or email if you haven't got my number) - if I can help at all I'll be more than pleased to.
God bless,
Dan
Aw Spanner, I had no idea things weren't all hunky dorey! You must remember that you can call me whenever you want to - to chat, or winge or celebrate - anything!!
I may not see you often but I think about you all the time.
Love ya Babe,
Shelly xx
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