Taken too soon

God threw a curve ball last night that completely felled me and I don't know why. To make this story flow I need to give you some background.
About six weeks ago: I got a group email from my friend on the leadership team of a large evangelical church in Cardiff. It was a forwarded message from Rob Lacey's PA asking us to pray for him and his family. He had suffered, and been cured of cancer in 2001 but the cancer was back with a vengeance. His wife was 36 weeks pregnant at the time of the email, with their second child. He had been offered chemo or surgery as a last option and although neither were appealing with his wife so pregnant he took chemo. After reading the email I googled Rob to find out he was the author of the Street Bible which became the Word on the Street and was a performer also. I prayed on and off for a couple of weeks and heard nothing.
Fast forward: Last night at church the Vicar preached on Luke 11: 1-13 entitled 'The God you Pray to.' The sermon was about God as Our Father. The Vicar made reference to several well known people who did not know their earthly fathers through death, abuse or separation and described how their writings show a difficulty in relating to God as Father. After a time of reflection one of our Readers got up to speak - unplanned. He spoke about Rob Lacey - as someone who had performed at our church early in his career, and a personal friend. He shared the news that Rob died last Monday aged 43 leaving a wife and two children 5 years and 4 weeks old. I was shocked, angry and hurt and could not stop the tears. I don't understand why the news affected me so badly, my only association with himwas through my prayer for him. I have never read his work, met him or his family. Maybe it was simply news that tipped me over the edge, I have been feeling delicate and far from God. I am wrestling with Him over my job, my purpose, my future. It's tough. I'm a bit down. The tears streamed but I still felt a need to worship God. Singing and crying is tough. Without trust in God I am a ship without a rudder.
The news of Rob's death hurt and saddened me. God has called him home and all of us left behind are standing open mouthed staring to heaven and asking 'Why?' I don't know if anyone will get the answer in this life, but meanwhile we are forced to trust Him, even when we cannot begin to understand.