The Light

"The people walking in darkness have seen a great light;
on those living in the land of the shadow of death a light has dawned." Isaiah 9: 2.

The darkness is scary, and disorientating, and uneasy, and unknown. There are shadows lurking, and seeing is harder. I don't like the dark. It makes things difficult.

Walking in the light means I can see my way. Danger is more easily avoided and things are clearer. I feel safer and more secure.

This passage, and verses 6 and 7 were the ones I read on Sunday night. I love the promises Isaiah made years and years before a young girl called Mary gave birth to a Saviour in a stable in Bethlehem. I am feeling very reflective this Christmas. James and I have bought Doug, his brother a Bible for Christmas (him reading this is about as likely as Pigs Flying). As I wrapped it I thought about how he might feel on Christmas Day when he opens it. Sitting with its heavy leather cover smooth in my hands and the fresh clean unread pages ready to reveal the most exciting story in history I thought about how it could be a book that sits on his shelf or a book that really changes his life. We prayed that he'll understand why we've given him this and in the dedication we have written these lines, adapted from Psalm 119: "May it be a lamp to your feet and a light to your path."

I am starting an Alpha Course in January, at church, and I've invited Doug along. He's said yes so please pray that he'll come good on this promise. I have never done Alpha before and I've decided that now is the right time. I have become a bit disillusioned with my home group. It is NOTHING to do with the people, and everything to do with me and the way I approach it. I have stopped engaging in it and have been going through the motions. Alpha is a way for me to reconnect, and because it takes place on the same day as home group I've had to choose! To look at the basics. To consider the lynch pins and foundations of my faith. To ask myself the questions like 'Why Jesus?' and get excited all over again. I hope that I'll meet Jesus again and we'll go for a drink. Like good friends who need to have a catch up. I hope that Doug will meet Jesus too, but that's for him and God to decide. All I can do is pray, and be open to God, and come out further into the light.

My wish would be that many more people would see a great light this Christmas, would ask Why Jesus?, Why Christmas? I wish that people would take steps towards the light, that through God's Grace would accept their free gift of eternal life and at the same time get the best Christmas Present ever.

Whatever you are doing may it be a Happy Christmas.

Hannah xx

Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Have a look at this.

Advent

From the Latin word adventus, meaning "coming", the period of expectant waiting and preparation for the celebration of the Birth of Christ.
At the start of each Advent I am full of commitment and good ideas to get back to God in time for Christmas. Usually by the first weekend I've failed.
This year I started advent at Christchurch London at the Piccadilly Theatre in London, with Kate P who I used to play rugby with at uni. It is a different type of church than I usually go to. I don't agree with all of their teachings and disagreed with some of their practices and baptisms (it was a baptism service.) Anyway the service was nothing to do with Advent. The sermon was entitled 'I am the resurrection and the life.' Starting Advent at the end, or maybe the beginning!
Anyway being in a different church made me think critically about my relationship with God. And I decided it sucked. And I needed to change.
So I downloaded the Evangelical Alliance Advent prayer guide. They look at the metaphors for Jesus used in John's gospel. James and I have changed our morning routine. Instead of lounging in bed having brekkie we get up and get ready. About half and hour before we need to leave we sit in the sitting room with our Breakfast and our bibles. This time has revolutionised my bible reading and my approach to the day. James and I have been struggling to find a good time to read the Bible together, and this seems to work. I also feel like I can approach God with more confidence and understanding. I want to read my bible, and this morning I read the start of each Gospel to see how they each introduce Jesus to the reader.
On Sunday evening it is the Candle-lit Carol Service at church. I am reading. I am SO excited.
Christmas is on its way and and as a very darling person wrote in a note to me today:
" Everyone should feel Christmassy because it's a wonderful time of year not just because it's Christmas but because we're celebrating the BIRTH of JESUS and that's quite cool."
It certainly is. Enjoy it.
Hannah x
p.s. Check this out too. It'll make you think paperless Christmas

A change of direction

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29: 11



On Wednesday I had my interview for Wandsworth SCITT. This is a small course of 23 places for General Primary and 12 for Early Years.

In September 2008 I will be one of those 23 trainee teachers!

I went to the pub on Sunday evening with Rach and Em and talked to them about my interview. They were really helpful and it was good to feel like I knew what I was talking about. They gave me plenty of pointers and their opinions. They are both angels.


My interview was great! The maths test was a bit dodgy but the English exercise was fine. We had to do a group discussion, which was fine. I am a facilitator by nature but I made sure that I said something and a conversation sparked from there. My one to one interview was with the Course Director and the headteacher of one of the consortium schools in Balham. A range of questions including 'Why do you want to teach?' and 'What are the challenged and opportunities of teaching in Inner London?' (Answer: I don't think challenges are always negative!...) Anyway at the end of the interview the headteacher said 'I don't know if I'm allowed to say this but I thoroughly enjoyed this interview and I would love to have you in my school!' The Course director nodded and smiled. The great thing about this course is that they let you know by the end of the day.

By 3.30 pm I received a call offering me a place. The director said that I was well prepared and confident and all in all I was an exceptional young woman! Nice!

God - Thank You! This feels so right! Hannah x

Thank You God

God has been really evident in some happenings over the last few days, and I am thankful for this.

I don't really want to say much more right now, other than I am calmer and more relaxed than I have been for a while.

Trying to prepare for my PGCE interview next Wednesday morning. Please pray that I would know God's will on this one, and that I would do my best.

H x

oh what a beautiful morning

Having read the instruction book and fixed the heating on Tuesday evening, after over 24 hours with no heat, waking up and venturing out of bed hasn't been too traumatic.

This morning was parky, and bleary eyed, after a poor night's sleep, I headed for the kitchen to make breakfast. The view outside was wonderful. The frozen white grass was covered in golden fallen leaves, set hard by the frost. The sun was shining and the sky was blue. It was beautiful.

An hour later wrapped up warm, with hat, gloves and scarf, James and I headed out to work. James had site visits to do and needed the car. Our little blue Peugeot was a shimmery white! Now I have to admit I have a child like glee in defrosting the car. It was something I used to help my Dad do when I was little! I don't know why, but this morning I was glad of the can of deicer that I am sure I renounced as 'Stupid to have in the car, this time of year' in July but never got round to removing.

As I kissed James goodbye at South Croydon station I bumped into Dan, a church friend and our new worship and music coordinator. It was great to chat to him. His passion for what he does, and his desire to run with God's plan is evident. It almost flashes in his eyes, and its exciting.

Praying on the bus from Clapham - wonderful sights over the common - I realised that I am sitting well within my comfort zone with God right now. Dipping my feet in the water but not getting too wet. My conversation with Dan made me uncomfortable, in a good way! He made me realise how lazy with and about God I have become and how things might be stirring for a change.

Hannah x

ALERT

Two very odd and scary things have happened

1. I have an interview at Wandsworth SCITT for thier PGCE on 28th Novemeber. Oh my goodness.

2. James and I are flat hunting and we've found a maybe

I feel totally overwhelmed on all counts.

Help! Hannah

Rest a Little

James looked at me on Friday night and said "Hannah you need a rest." Sadly that real rest won't come until Christmas.
It's true I do. Scouts is taking over my life in a really unhealthy way. There are chinks of light and I have a plan formulated in my head of how I am going to sort our leadership and then step back.
Please pray that God is with me on this and he will raise people up for positions and soften hearts and minds to what I am trying to do.
Thanks.

Potentially Life Changing

This week I took a step towards changing my life as I applied to study a PGCE in Primary Education. I have been prayerfully considering my future since June. One evening James and I sat down and went through all the things that my ideal job would have, and not have.
In September we had a 'quiet day' when we went to Ashdown Forest with a picnic, our bibles and our walking boots and spent the morning reading and praying and considering. I kept asking God what I should do. I am not sure he gave me an answer but I felt he was assuring me with the words 'I will never leave you nor forsake you.' I meditated over a psalm and felt that God was saying that I should try things out.
Teaching is a bit of a curve ball if I'm honest. All the people who I know who are teachers have always wanted to do it. At the moment I am fairly clear that I want to specialise in teaching children with special educational needs, and specifically autism. So I guess in that sense it's not so much of a curve ball, just a wonky path!
So I spent a week in a primary school, needing experience in order to apply. I was apprehensive but actually it was a great week where I realised that I could teach, even mainstream. I learnt about classroom structure and timetabling, about classroom assistants and differing abilities.
So I applied this week, after trying to convey why I want to teach, and how I am qualified to do a training course, in 47 lines. I can only apply to two institutions at this time so that's what I have done. Now its a waiting game. So I'll wait. And see.
H x

I had a dream

I had a dream last night that the England Rugby team played France in Paris in the semi-final of the world cup. I dreamt that we scored a try in the first three minutes. I dreamt that it was a tough game, where France had all the possession and none of the points. I dreamt that England were trailing by a point for most of the game. I dreamt that Andy Gommersal got shoulder charged by the touch judge, and Chabal hurt Johnny. I dreamt that the French gave away a penalty with minutes to go. I dreamt that Johnny converted it, and then a few minutes later scored a drop goal. I dreamt that Laurence Dalliglio tried to throw away England's lead my giving away a handling in the ruck penalty to France. I dreamt that despite a final onslaught England won!

and I woke up this morning
and it was true!
England in the World Cup Final 2007 - who'd have thought it?!